D3 body, D1 cock
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
