8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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