Can i not drive my cunt home
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Randomize
