I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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