New invention idea: vibrating tampons
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
