I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Send help, water and tortillas.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
