i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Less talking, more tequila
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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