Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
