Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
