will power is for people who don't want to get laid
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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