this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
