Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
