By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
