Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
It was confusing and full of hummus
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
