plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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