If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Green mimosas i think yes
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
