Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I just gift wrapped bread.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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