I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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