Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
This is my gift to your gina
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
