I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize