I am in a vortex of obligation.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
