your parents love me but you hate me
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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