Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
