i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
