True but thats because hes a fetus.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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