i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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