meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
