I wanna passion pit in your ass
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize