Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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