then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
You have to summon your inner elephant
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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