I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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