I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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