OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
honey bunches of taint.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
