I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
