Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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