I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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