Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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