theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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