PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
