I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize