So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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