Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
