i just wanna soil my oats bro
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
