if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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