What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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