The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
