Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
