Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
