marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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