I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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