3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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