oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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