drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
