Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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