I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
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We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
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I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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