is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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