Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Send help, water and tortillas.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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