I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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