wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Houston, we have a blender
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
