Your tits are I can't wait for
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
