I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
