I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
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