If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
