we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
