yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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