i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
this just has baby written all over it
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
