Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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